An Introduction

My name is Trillian. To the man-on-the-street, I look like your typical busy, professional woman. I'm fairly well respected and have many friends. But, very few know the other side of me; some might say the darker side. I don't consider it dark. I don't even consider it especially deviant. But I do recognize that many people will disagree (or, at least profess that they disagree). I will let you make your own decision, dear reader. I just ask your indulgence in keeping an open mind at times.

I'd like you to meet somebody special to me. My puppy, Loki. Often a comment about owning a dog will elicit the question, "Oh, what type of dog is he?" Well, you might be surprised to learn that my puppy, Loki, is not even a canine. Let me explain....

Being an adventurous and single girl, I love to expand my horizons by meeting new people. One day, I was introduced by a friend to a handsome devil. It did not take long for the two of us to connect. Heavy flirting ensued and it was obvious there was some kind of mutual interest. He was playful and enthusiastic and just all around fun, he reminded me of a playful little puppy. At the end of the party, numbers were exchanged, promises of future meetings made.

Over the next few weeks, we talked many times. It turns out, he liked to think of himself as a puppy, too! In fact, he said, he was hoping to find a new mistress to care for him. A puppy needs a good strong leader - master or mistress- to help them understand the world and learn. And like all puppies, what a puppy-boy wants most is to please his mistress.

Hmmm - I considered this. The puppy-play idea was intriguing. I'd never thought of myself as a participant, but couldn't think of a good reason not to investigate at least.

Basically, what my puppy-boy was proposing was a Master/slave relationship. I don't want you to get the wrong idea though. I think those terms are misleading in many ways, at least in my conception of the roles. So - a little Master/slave 101 might be in order. Now, I fully confess to being a noob to this Domination/submission stuff, and there are many details I might not have quite "right" as considered by those experienced in the field. Therefore, I do not profess myself an expert by any measure. This blog is about my exploring new parts of my being and growing as a person.

As is my usual approach to something I don't know, I hit the books and the internet. Along with many titillating pictures and new fantasy ideas, here is what I came away with (For this discussion, I will group Dominant/submissive and Master/slave as the same thing and just use the abbreviation D/s, although there are some differences ):

• In a D/s relationship, one party (the sub) relinquishes control to the other (the Dom(me)). Control of what is negotiated by the parties involved and may vary.
  
• A D/s relationship is a consensual relationship. In a good, healthy D/s relationship, limits are set - many beforehand, and it is vitally important to both parties that all aspects of the relationship be consensual. This includes not only the sexual aspects of the relationship, but a lot of the practical and emotional aspects as well. (More on what constitutes "consensual" sex in another section.)
  
• Trust is crucial. As a submissive has to know they can trust their Dominant not to go too far and to stop if and when it is requested or appropriate. And the trust has to work both ways.
  
• Communication is key. If you can't communicate what your expectations of the relationship are, you can end up in a really bad situation or at least end up totally miserable.

Hmm - so... trust, communication, consent, upfront understanding of what the relationship entails? Wow! I don't think I've ever had all of those things in any vanilla relationship I've ever had. That sounds pretty good!

Now - the roles... I confess I've had fantasies since childhood of being bound and gagged and taken advantage of and humiliated, so when I had entertained the notion of D/s in the past, I always assumed I'd be the sub. In fact, the only time I ever even experimented "playing" at these roles, I would start out as the Domme, only to be overpowered by the supposed sub. Fun, yes, but not a true D/s relationship - just role play. And, I always though that since I have this professional, in-charge persona I wear all day that it would be relaxing to be the one surrendering control.

But here was a smart, handsome, funny man who for some reason finds me attractive as a potential "master" for his "puppy". Yes, me, a Domme. Let me reflect on this...
Pros:

• His desire is to please me, within the parameters we've defined ahead of time.
• In return for pleasing me, he requests my guidance and strength. Not that he can't take care of himself - he has proven that to me already - but he wants at least to know that within the parameters we've set I will be supportive and encouraging and a source of emotional strength and security.

Cons:

• What is the validity of this relationship? Is it "real"?
• I have to provide structure to at least portions of his life and be "responsible" for his well-being.

Lots of loosely defined words in there. They are left to the participants of the relationship to clarify. The depth of the submission can range from occasional role play to a very structured lifestyle. But as I see it:

1. I HATE being told what to do and will often be very resentful if made to comply to something I don't want
2. I've never been in a relationship where one person didn't make the majority of the decisions (well, one was close, and that was the one where we played at role-play -hmmmm - coincidence?), so why not let it be me. That way, if anything goes wrong, there is no blame-placing. I was in charge, it's my responsibility.
3. I tend to be a sucker for guys who need to be "rescued". I don't see this as the same thing. I know he doesn't NEED me to "rescue" him. He WANTs me to be supportive, but I get to fill that desire to help.
4. He wants to make me happy and that will make him happy? How can you beat that? I mean, that's what I always thought a good relationship was about - being happy with and for and because the other person is happy.

This is sounding really good to me. This is sounding way healthier than my previous relationships, that's for sure. Clear expectations, clear communications, trust and a mutual desire to meet the needs of the other person. I think we might be on to something. As I write this, I again recall my one previous toying with the concept of D/s: that partner really did try to communicate with me clearly about his expectations, I just wasn't emotionally ready to meet his needs. Another insight to me that implies this may be a very good thing.

So, where do Loki and I stand in this process? How are we defining these ambiguous terms? We are just beginning this journey. After about 3 weeks of discussion and planning, we are spending some time alone together soon. There has been a lot of back and forth, a lot of questioning and querying, clarifying and elaborating to make sure we are at least on the same page if not in the same paragraph metaphorically speaking. For now, the basic premise is that this is about the sex and exploring our mutual fantasies; otherwise this is an open relationship and we have to trust each other to be smart with any other relationships and maintain open communication while respecting each other's privacy. We hardly know each other, there is no appropriate way to commit to more in either of our minds. We know we have similar interest and fantasies in the sexual area and we have already discussed our personal comfort zones and limits. We have made provisions to make the sex as safe as possible. We have established a safe-word, a word that will stop all activity no matter what, if either of us feels uncomfortable.

This pending weekend together is to see how we mesh together and see if this might be a longer term commitment and to what level. Both of us are interested in pursuing a fairly intense level of D/s relationship at some point in our lives with the right partner. Neither of us is at a point where we could take it to the extreme, but both of us see the appeal in that potential. Neither of us want a partner who does not meet our needs: his need to be dominated by a strong, compassionate, deserving master and my need to have a willing submissive who wants and respects my guidance and compassion. Will I be deserving of his devotion? Will he be deserving of my compassion? Intense questions! This is NOT your average hook-up!

I can tell you, though, that even beginning this process of exploration has forced me to dig deep into myself, to explore my feelings and preconceptions and fantasies and expectations, And, quite frankly, it's been cathartic. I have had an incredible ego boost and feel so much more empowered that even 2 weeks ago.

So, looking back at my attempts at dating - through the internet, through friend introductions, through meeting on the bar scene - I have never once entered a relationship with such clear, mutual expectations of what is to come, or with such an intimate understanding and trust of the other party. I still know very little about him, so to say I trust him still seems odd, but I do.

Where will this all lead? We're not even really considering this dating. This is 2 friends having consensual sex. I'm trying hard not to make wild speculations, but I'm keeping my options open. For now - at least the sex is going to be interesting!

Speaking of sex..... The whole reason for that big wordy introduction was I felt that what will follow deserved some explanation. What Loki and I are planning to peruse is a form of D/s that, for now, involves role play where the sub is a dog and the Domme is the owner or master. This may be mind stretching for some of you, when we start throwing the sex acts in there. This is not AT ALL about bestiality. This is consensual sex between adults, one of whom likes to play at being a puppy.

That's it for the introduction. Now that all that boring stuff is over, the next blog will begin to share some of our experiences and fantasies. I'll let you decide which are which.