WOW! Sorry for my absence, oh my reader(s)! It's been quite a summer. Barely had time to breath let alone write. But, now that the heat of summer has left and cool, calm fall is here hopefully I will become a bit more diligent about posting. So much to tell you all!
It's been one crazy summer with Loki. He and I have had so many adventures, big and small, sexual and otherwise. I think we've grown a lot in each others' company. Soon I will tell you more about our experiences with collaring and puppy play, attempts at learning ropes, switching things up and other fun and excitement. I'll be updating Loki's blog, too, with new stories.
But for now, dear reader, let me close with this: domination and submission can take many forms - physically, mentally and emotionally. For me, this has forced me to examine my own needs and desires, insecurities and fears very closely. And if you want to incorporate this kind of dynamic into a more than casual relationship I think it takes very clear and open communication. There is a lot of potential for abuse of the power given to the dominant and both parties need to be clear on expectations and limits before proceeding. If the trust that the submissive places in the dominant is broken, even in an otherwise strong relationship, the dynamic of the relationship may change.
As a dominant, stay aware of your submissive and do not betray that gift of trust. Listen to what they are saying. As the one in charge, you are responsible for their well-being in the end (even when the desired result is pain or humiliation). If you find yourself unable to control your emotions in a situation step back and cool off before proceeding. Take a moment to reflect on your intended action, its motivation, and the possible consequences. I say this from experience now having been a dominant and a submissive in good scenes and, well, not so good scenes.
Each scene, good or not, has been a learning experience and has helped me grow and become better each time I think (though I still have A LOT to learn). I see my role as a dominant to provide my submissive with a safe experience that fulfills their desires as much as my own because I am their provider and caregiver. Their mental and physical safety is my responsibility.
In my future posts, I plan on sharing more of my personal thoughts on domination and submission. Sure, my experience has been limited to one partner in the arena of D/s in a sexual context, but I have been amazed what I've learned about myself and so many of my relationships with others outside that context as well. And I'd love to hear your stories and ideas on this and other subjects, so keep in touch!
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